I am sorry if you fell for all the hype and mass hysteria about
today’s prediction but it’s not like it’s the End of the World.
Timmy's mission is to provide the world with a window of insight into what it is like living in Timmy's World. He will present you with random thoughts and the profound wisdom bestowed upon us by none other than Timmy himself. So stand back and prepare to be dazzled.
Glitter
This is the time of year for GLITTER (shinny dirt that gets all over everything and is impossible to clean. In fact the word Litter is right in it.)
Kill that Tree!
Tis the season where millions of people proudly drive around
displaying their trophy tree carcasses for all to see.
So go out and “KILL THAT
TREE!”
Check out the 1678 Point that my I bagged. Can’t say it was
a clean kill though. In fact, it was kind of messy.
Love
Love is the strongest medicine; I just wish more people
could see that it has always been within their grasp.
Gas Prices
With the price of Gas climing so high, we are sure to see an increase in Walk-By Shootings.
Lesson in irony
Lesson in irony.
The Food Stamp Program, administered by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, is actually proud of the fact it is distributing the greatest amount of free meals and food stamps ever.
Meanwhile, the National Park Service, administered by the U.S. Department of the Interior, asks us to "Please Do Not Feed the Animals." Their stated reason for the policy is...... because the animals will grow dependent on handouts...... and will not learn to take care of themselves.
This ends today's lesson
The Food Stamp Program, administered by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, is actually proud of the fact it is distributing the greatest amount of free meals and food stamps ever.
Meanwhile, the National Park Service, administered by the U.S. Department of the Interior, asks us to "Please Do Not Feed the Animals." Their stated reason for the policy is...... because the animals will grow dependent on handouts...... and will not learn to take care of themselves.
This ends today's lesson
Travel through life
As you travel through life, don't forget to occasionally look up or you may run smack dab into something hard.
Duct Tape
Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
Light is faster than sound
Light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Marriage License small print
Guys, have you read the small print on your Marriage License lately?
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do will be held against you. You have the right to beg forgiveness. Even if you beg, you will be held guilty until I say otherwise. Good Luck, Sucker!
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do will be held against you. You have the right to beg forgiveness. Even if you beg, you will be held guilty until I say otherwise. Good Luck, Sucker!
Please take a moment to honor those who have made the ultimate sacrifice
Please take a moment to honor those who have made the ultimate sacrifice in order for the rest of us to continue the lifestyle that we have become accustomed to and sometimes take for granted.
Internet thoughts
Surprise! Did you know that things you put on the Internet (this includes websites, blogs, forums, email and yes even our blessed facebook) can be made public for the entire world to see? Some people think they can keep their thoughts private. Scary isn't it?
A woman always has the last word in any argument
A woman always has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says
after that is just the beginning of a new argument.
after that is just the beginning of a new argument.
Abortion is not a form of birth control
Abortion is not a form of birth control, it just means you're the parent of a dead baby.
Auto-pilot
The first born is the center of attention until the second one is born. Then it is auto-pilot for the rest of their life.
Birthday Card
My birthday cards contained no food, no beer and no sex; I’m surprised I even opened them!
the light is green
If you pull up under the traffic light so far that you can no longer see it, then how much time will that really save you when you can't see the light turn green?
always correct
If you don't like being corrected all the time, try living with someone who is always wrong.
The only thing you can take into your future is your past.
The only thing you can take into your future is your past.
human race membership
Some people are just barely able to claim membership in the human race, common sense ought to be a prerequisite.
If you think health care is bad now, wait until it's free.
If you think health care is bad now, wait until it's free.
eat too much
Ever have so much on your plate that you can't see over the top of it to find the table?
Life is but a large group of single days
Life is but a large group of single days. Call today the beginning of your new mini-life. Now go out and make it special.
conspiracy to kill off the old people
Is there a conspiracy to kill off the old people by making the warning labels on drugs to small to read?
Tattoo Clothes
Check out my great new idea that is sure to sweep the nation! ---- Tattoo Clothes : so you are always ready to go.
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